भाग्यमानी को भूतै कमारो *** Lucky Person Ghost Servant
जुन गोरु को सिंह छैन त्एस्कै नाम तिखे *** Which Bull no horn that bull HORNY
कस्को बौ को के तागत *** whose father what vitamin
जो गाउँ को मुखिया उही बाटो हगुवा *** Who village leader, shit in
नजान्ने आगान टेडो *** No dance know, floor incline.
खाई न पाई छालाको टोपी लाई *** Eating na getting, putting leather cap
कागलाई बेल पाक्यो हर्स न विस्मात*** bel ripe, crow happy nor sad"
काग कराउदै गर्छ पिना सुक्दै गर्छ ***crow crying, pina drying
छन गेडी सबै मेरी छैनन गेडी सबै तेरी*** have balls all mine, don't have, all yours"
भोक मिठो कि भोजन?***hunger tasty or meal?
चीन्नु न जान्नु घचेडी मग्नू ***don't know don't know push n beg
जोगीको घरमा हिप्पी पाहुना ।***saint's house hippie visitor
सीतैंमा पाये भट्टि रीत्तै ।***when free make pub empty
जहाँ गुलियो त्यहाँ बाहुन भुलियो*** Whereever sweet, bahun lost there !!
जसो जसो बाहुन बराजु, उसै उसै स्वहा ***How how bahun ancestor, thus thus swaha!!
बाहुन ले च्याउ खाओस् न स्वाद पाओस *** Bahun neither eats mushroom, nor gets taste!!
नेवार बिग्र्यो भोजले, बाहुन् बिग्र्यो मोजले *** Newar spoilt by feast, bahun by enjoyment!!
आज राती सपनामा हात्ती करायो, बाहुन बाजे हग्न जाँदा धोती हरायो ***Today night elephant cried, bahun grandpa lost dhoti when went to shit!!
अल्छीले जति जैसी ले जान्दैन *** Jaisi does not know more than a lazybone!!
पुड्के बाहुनको सुड्के चन्दन *** Dwarf bahun's short sandalwood paste!
Friday 30 January 2009
Wednesday 28 January 2009
MEN VS WOMEN
Sex: Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
Maturity:Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
Hats:Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.
Comedy:Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge. The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
Bathrooms: A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Groceries:A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
Going out:When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...
Shoes:When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She wil carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk. A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.
Leg warmers:Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line".
Cats: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Movies:For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind". For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy".
Jewelry: Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
Menopause:When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
The Telephone: Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Directions: If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there", and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store".
Admitting Mistakes: Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.
Richard Gere:Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
Nudity in Movies:Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
David Letterman: Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.
Cameras: Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4,000 for state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.
Weddings: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".
Socks: Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks. Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
Toys:Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession wih toys. As they older, their toys drive become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six batteries to operate.
Mustaches: Some men look good with mustaches. Those men are Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.
at last but not least women are womennnnnnnnnnnnn
Maturity:Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
Hats:Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.
Comedy:Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge. The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
Bathrooms: A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Groceries:A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
Going out:When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...
Shoes:When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She wil carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk. A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.
Leg warmers:Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line".
Cats: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Movies:For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind". For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy".
Jewelry: Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
Menopause:When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
The Telephone: Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Directions: If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there", and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store".
Admitting Mistakes: Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.
Richard Gere:Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
Nudity in Movies:Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
David Letterman: Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.
Cameras: Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4,000 for state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.
Weddings: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".
Socks: Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks. Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
Toys:Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession wih toys. As they older, their toys drive become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six batteries to operate.
Mustaches: Some men look good with mustaches. Those men are Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.
at last but not least women are womennnnnnnnnnnnn
Funny jokes on the recent financial crisis once more hawa
Joke #1: Japan Banks
Following the problems in the subprime lending market in America, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank today were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Joke #2: Insufficient Funds
I had a cheque returned by my bank earlier. “Insufficient Funds,” it said. My funds or the bank’s?
Joke #3: Money Talks
Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word — Goodbye.
Joke #4: Nigerian Scam
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully,
Minister of Treasury Henry M. Paulson
Joke #5: Henry Paulson Jogging
US Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson was out jogging in Central Park, New York. All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes with a gun.
The masked man said, “Give me all your money!”
Unwilling to do so, Paulson said, “You can’t do this, I’m the Treasury Secretary!”
The man then replied, “In that case, give me MY money!
”
Joke #6: Lehman Brothers and George Bush
US President George Bush: I am saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. My thoughts go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is no doubt a tragedy.
Following the problems in the subprime lending market in America, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank today were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Joke #2: Insufficient Funds
I had a cheque returned by my bank earlier. “Insufficient Funds,” it said. My funds or the bank’s?
Joke #3: Money Talks
Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word — Goodbye.
Joke #4: Nigerian Scam
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully,
Minister of Treasury Henry M. Paulson
Joke #5: Henry Paulson Jogging
US Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson was out jogging in Central Park, New York. All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes with a gun.
The masked man said, “Give me all your money!”
Unwilling to do so, Paulson said, “You can’t do this, I’m the Treasury Secretary!”
The man then replied, “In that case, give me MY money!
”
Joke #6: Lehman Brothers and George Bush
US President George Bush: I am saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. My thoughts go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is no doubt a tragedy.
welcome to Batash Blog..
Collection of hawa gaff.................
thankx for your visit... plz visit back... site under construction..
thankx for your visit... plz visit back... site under construction..
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